Romance scams: the warning signs and what to do

You can care about someone and still pause a payment.

The answer in 2 lines. Be cautious when an online relationship brings pressure, secrecy and requests for money. The person may describe an emergency, promise a visit or introduce an investment. Stop before paying and speak to someone you trust. A photograph, affectionate messages or a video conversation cannot establish that a financial request is genuine. If you have already sent money, contact your bank immediately, preserve the messages and report what happened. You deserve practical help and support without blame.

What to do when something feels wrong

Stop payments and gifts. Do not borrow, sell possessions or use savings to solve an online contact's supposed emergency.
Tell someone you trust what you have been asked to do. Show them the actual messages rather than only the explanation you have been given.
Keep the profile, conversation and payment records. Contact your bank promptly if money or banking details have already been shared.

Stop: danger

Threats involving intimate images: do not pay or send further images. Preserve the threats and follow the reporting steps in the police sextortion guidance.
Immediate risk of harm: call 999. For other intimate-image blackmail reports, the official reporting guidance directs you to your local police on 101.

Look at the pattern, not just the profile

Fraud can develop through an apparently ordinary conversation. Trust may be built gradually before any money is mentioned. Watch for repeated crises, pressure to act immediately and requests to keep the relationship secret. Someone who treats reasonable questions as disloyalty is making it harder for you to check their story.

Other people may join the conversation claiming to be relatives or professionals who can confirm the emergency. Their involvement does not independently verify it. Read the warning signs in the Police.uk romance fraud guide and compare them with the messages you have received.

What the request might look like

The request may be for money, gift vouchers, cryptocurrency or help with an investment. The story can be upsetting and urgent, with promises that everything will be resolved once you pay. Do not let the payment method distract you from the underlying question: why is someone you only know online depending on your money?

Do not accept funds into your account and forward them elsewhere on their behalf. This can involve criminal proceeds. The government's guidance on financial exploitation explains how a relationship can be used to draw someone into moving money.

What not to do

Making a final payment because you have already sent money and want the earlier payments back.
Handing over access to your account or approving a banking request you do not understand.
Paying someone who unexpectedly offers to recover your losses.
Continuing contact to confront the person or gather more evidence after saving what you already have.

If you have already sent money

Call your bank through a trusted route and explain that you suspect romance fraud. Identify the payments and say if someone has pressured you to borrow or move money for them. Ask about recovery and reimbursement; neither should be assumed impossible just because you authorised the transfer.

Use Report Fraud's romance fraud page and follow its reporting link. Keep the reference and a copy of your evidence. After preserving the conversation, block the contact and report the profile through the service where you met. Do not reopen contact if someone returns under another identity claiming they can help recover the money.

Support in England

The emotional loss can matter as much as the financial loss. You can speak to Victim Support using the live chat or Supportline options on its website. The service offers free, confidential support; you can ask for help deciding your next step without having to tell everyone you know.

If you are supporting someone else, listen without ridicule. Offer to sit beside them while they contact their bank or organise the messages. Keeping a trusted relationship open makes asking for help easier.

Good to know

Romance fraud is the offender's responsibility. Feeling attached to the person does not make the deception your fault.
Report Fraud covers England, Wales and Northern Ireland. In Scotland, report to Police Scotland; the distinction is explained on the official romance fraud page.
If an investment is involved, use the Financial Conduct Authority's scam reporting page to check its remit and submit relevant information. Contact your bank first if money has gone.

Illustrative example: Helen in York has been talking to someone who says he works overseas. He asks her to fund an emergency and insists that her family would misunderstand. Helen shows the conversation to a friend. Together they recognise the pressure and secrecy. She sends nothing, saves the messages and reports the profile.

A made-up story, for illustration.

Bobby

Sources, verification, confidence

Verified on 6 November 2026, for England. Confidence: high for warning signs, financial exploitation, reporting and support routes; medium for recovery, which depends on individual circumstances. No single profile detail proves fraud. The example is illustrative.